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144.
i just want to. be on my own.
143.
濛了眼眶都要記著
就像一場沒有結局的電影
散場了
142.
passion in their music, and a bunch of lonely souls, comforted me.
sad, angry, numb, pissed, wronged, worried
when they sang, i was relieved for the first time.
***
I have been reluctant to post cos i wanted to do a long one dedicated to my grandpa, but with all that’s happening, i don’t know where to start, i don’t know where to end.
i want to keep believing in the good in people, but all i see is injustice, self-righteousness, and greed.
***
“You’re a really good girl and you stand up for some good things in life. Also, keep your head up because sometimes life can be shit but things always have a way of working out for the good.”
Thank you, you didn’t know how much this helped.
Don’t let your struggles define you.
141.
too many words, i could only be silent.
we could only share silence.
***
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always parallell on the other side
140.
thank you for making it that much easier for me
i can’t tell if you really did or just hiding it
but thank you.
or i don’t know when i would be able to let go of that memory
***
牆上反方向的鍾，我落淚。情緒零碎，屋頂外雨下一整晚
我依舊的自導自演，惦記著浦公英的約定，我們之間就像最長的電影，甜甜的
我搭著四季列車回到家鄉的梯田聞著稻香，看著花海，聽著琴傷
提著烏克麗麗來到紅塵客棧，明明就說了再見，卻像大笨鐘似的傻笑
看著窗外的珊瑚海，黑色毛衣依舊靜靜的躺在半島鐵盒上，希望回到過去
這是我給你的暗號，妳給我的卻是分裂，找尋妳的軌跡
我寫著愛的飛行日記，紀錄著蘭亭序旁的楓
我一路向北離開有妳的伊斯坦堡，卻也離不開哪裡都是妳的簡單愛
我不配給你晴天般的愛情，卻一度的把彼此推入愛情懸崖
***
That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed
-Neil Gaiman
139.
Need to rest my mind, rest those thoughts.
What ifs are the ones that will always linger, paying their sudden visits that make your heart flutters.
When will I stop reliving that night?
138.
i miss this little corner of mine.
137.
I want to be nothing, and everything.
To not be bound by any stereotypical images, and at the same time to be able to be any of those I favour.
Beauty in the more, the mixture of everything, which is nothing in particular.
That’s how I see myself, and possibly how I wish to be seen as. (But honestly it will never happen and I can’t care less.)
136.
Today will end..
Like tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after the day after…
***
a choice, to decide who you want to keep in your life and who not to.
tonight, i think i saw my grandpa, in the form of a very big but elegant moth, at the beginning of the 7th day after he left us, and scared him away.
I am sorry.
did you want to tell me something? I would have listened. but you left the moment i realized that it was you.
I am sorry i wasn’t there when you left us. I knew you wanted to wait until we graduate. Sorry I am taking longer than I should have.
thank you for making me your favourite.
I will never forget you.
135.
i can feel this mixture of sadness and numbness in me.
bracing myself for the epic drama
like everyone else, and forgot about how to simply mourn.
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